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[coalitions]

@lexa.trikru | ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

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[plainsimple]

Most know the Federation to be full of corruption and issues because they themselves are. Julian does not see it because that's not who he is. He sees what the Federation could be and believes it is because he spends all of his time living up to that ideal.

[coalitions]

I understand, I too fell in love with an idealist.

[plainsimple]

There is no dealing with them, only falling for them, it seems.

[He'd lie... but that would endanger his cover all the more and really, he knows he's obvious.]

[coalitions]

I tried to make Clarke think more like me, but she made me think more like her instead. Nothing to an extreme of believing in a Federation, but in believing there was an end to unnecessary bloodshed.

[plainsimple]

I have learned to have a little more faith, somehow. He's contagious. You'd think a doctor would have that contained.

[coalitions]

No, they are very determined. And very forgiving. She forgave my harsher choices, not many would. I think Julian would do the same for his loved ones. I am not so forgiving.

[plainsimple]

Even for those he does not love. He is a fool who will hopefully live to regret when he forgives the wrong thing and the wrong person.

In contrast, the end of a Cardassian's life comes with him getting someone he trusts to make certain his enemies or those who have wronged him will not long outlive him. It makes for a great difficulty when it comes to understanding people like Julian and apparently also Clarke. Not everyone will drive a knife into your back, but if you present your back to everyone the chance of finding a surprise blade increases greatly and yet they do it anyway.

They need us. Whether they know it or not.

[coalitions]

Our people sound very similar. Jus drein jus daun is our saying. Blood must have blood. It is violent but it is just, at least in our eyes. If we had a long time to be with our people, if the planet had not died, perhaps we would have been able to change. But the Kyongedon, Grounders, value survival and survival is through strength.

Yet I never wanted her to lose her hope that people are good and worth saving.

[plainsimple]

We do seem to have a great many things in common, something I would not have expected from a human.

I would like him to be a little less optimistic, for his own sake... but I would not like for him to lose who he is. I would not like to lose him.

[coalitions]

I never expected to meet another species at all, so you are a welcome surprise.

I thought you two were a couple, but I see you are not. If our parallels continue, perhaps you should tell him. Clarke and I love one another despite our many differences.

[plainsimple]

Love cannot change one's interests or nature, my dear. His taste runs to young, slender, and female, and as you may have noticed, I am none of those things.

Sometimes things are not meant to be.

[coalitions]

He is unaware of how you feel about him, I gathered that much. It is your life and your heart, but I would recommend you not assume what he desires simply from observation of his past. If I had done that with Clarke, I would think she only wanted men.

[plainsimple]

Perhaps. Seven years of observation have lead me to believe otherwise, and I am rather good at observation, but I will take it under consideration.

[coalitions]

Just be certain if you die tomorrow, you will not regret the things you never said. I was given a second chance at life, but not everyone gets that.

[plainsimple]

But what, may I ask, did you have to lose at that point?

[coalitions]

Everything. I cannot emphasize enough what the loss of me meant to my people. I created the coalition and peace, temporarily, between the clans. Once I was gone, my successors were murdered, the clans broke apart, and now I fear we are on the verge of extinction. Everything I had is lost, outside of Clarke. If I lose her, I will have nothing.

[plainsimple]

My apologies. I meant what could telling her have cost you?/span>

[coalitions]

I see. Being rejected and losing her. Honestly I'm uncertain how it managed to work. Clarke and I have a lot of bad blood between us. We met when she was forced to kill her lover because of my decree.

[plainsimple]

Thankfully the doctor and I have no such bad blood; his best friend may dislike how I hem his pants but Julian, I believe, is satisfied.

That does not prevent me from believing that I will lose him if I tell him, however. And as I am not at a surplus of friends, losing him would be a grievous blow.

[coalitions]

Is your friendship not strong enough to survive it?

[plainsimple]

Heterosexual human men, in my observation, are not so free with their kindness to another man when they believe he may be into them. I wouldn't expect him to be rude, he's far too good a person for that, but there would be a distance that I would find unacceptable.

[Unbearable, heartbreaking, both more accurate and both too clear. He's being mostly honest on this front because it serves as cover for his spy lie, but there's a level of honesty that's entirely too far and those truths would be there.]

[coalitions]

Those are not issues we have in my culture. People love and desire as they wish.

[So they may be barbarians in some ways, but not all ways.]

You believe he would be such a man?

[How disappointing that would be.]

[plainsimple]

I think it is so ingrained in their culture it wouldn't occur to him not to pull back some. Your earth, despite its lack of contact with other species, seems more evolved than his in certain ways.

So in short, it's not that he is such a man as much as it is that I believe that is all he knows.

[coalitions]

I trust your judgment on this. If you are certain this is the right course of action, you are correct.

[plainsimple]

I cannot say I am without doubts on this being the right approach. But sentiment is a treacherous, often traitorous thing that leads to any number of disasters. I know better than to follow my heart.